Cat's Eye

Having re-read The Handmaid's Tale somewhat recently, I really wanted to branch out into more of Margaret Atwood's work. Cat's Eye seemed like the obvious starting point. Mostly because it was the only other novel of hers that I'd actually heard of.

Parts of this book were incredibly painful. It's about bullies, but the more insidious "mean girl" bullying that doesn't involve any physical violence. Just a prolonged attack on someone's self-esteem. Atwood's slightly detached voice adds a lot to this experience, I think. You can feel Elaine fading away at one point as her best friend Cordelia makes her feel like nothing.

There's one scene that's particularly hard to read in which Elaine peels the skin off the soles of her feet. As soon as I read it, I remembered one of my friends from high school describing the scene to me. It was disturbing then without context, and it's even more disturbing in the book. Elaine herself barely seems to know why she does this.

The kicker is that the protagonist is 9 years old when this is happening. All this bullying, the coping through self-harm, is a girl who hasn't even hit puberty yet. It's so formative that Elaine is still dealing with it decades later when she returns to Toronto for an exhibition of her art. The city itself seems to haunt her as she works through these memories of bullying.

In high school, her relationship with Cordelia flips. Elaine becomes the abuser and Cordelia the victim. Their friendship is just as unhealthy as ever. Neither of them seems able to break out of the pattern.

As I said, this book was painful. Parts of it were hard to read. But it offered some interesting commentary on female relationships, and on a woman's expected place in society. Elaine is constantly referring to all these secret rules that she doesn't quite understand. I can relate to that, although I reacted in a very different way than she did. I flat out rejected a lot of the rules that didn't make sense to me, instead of doing my best to follow them. But that could also just be an effect of living in a different time.

I'm glad I read this book, difficult as it was. It certainly gave me a lot to think about.

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