Everything I Never Told You
I was expecting this book to be sad. It opens with the death of a sixteen-year-old girl and follows the aftermath as her family slowly falls apart. But somehow I wasn't quite prepared for just how unrelentingly tragic it is. The tragedy stretches back years, detailing the forced compromises and abandoned dreams that led to a teenage girl with more secrets than her family could even begin to suspect.
Lydia's death is the mystery at the heart of the book. Was it murder or suicide? What could have compelled her to leave her house in the middle of the night? Answering these questions takes you back to not just Lydia's childhood, but to her parents' courtship and their childhoods as well.
Her father is Chinese-American, and he spend his whole life wanting to blend in. Her mother is determined to be a doctor, to study physics, to do anything but end up as a housewife like her mother. But those dreams are deferred in favor of her kids, and then deferred again and again until they become impossible for her and she thrusts them on her daughter instead.
As the story unfolds, the cracks in the family become clearer and wider. The book is about lives unled and dreams abandoned and all the pressure that builds up in a house where the parents are deeply unhappy at some level but still trying their best. I took it as a reminder to not force myself on my own children, and I'm sure other people will take other lessons.
Amazingly, the book manages to avoid being too bleak in the end. Though I was prepared for an utterly soul-crushing ending, I got a moment of grace instead. And hope for the future, that this damage isn't entirely irreparable. This was a fairly quick read, but it was very layered. I can see myself returning to it, especially when I actually become a parent. Assuming the whole death-of-a-child premise doesn't become too much to bear.
Lydia's death is the mystery at the heart of the book. Was it murder or suicide? What could have compelled her to leave her house in the middle of the night? Answering these questions takes you back to not just Lydia's childhood, but to her parents' courtship and their childhoods as well.
Her father is Chinese-American, and he spend his whole life wanting to blend in. Her mother is determined to be a doctor, to study physics, to do anything but end up as a housewife like her mother. But those dreams are deferred in favor of her kids, and then deferred again and again until they become impossible for her and she thrusts them on her daughter instead.
As the story unfolds, the cracks in the family become clearer and wider. The book is about lives unled and dreams abandoned and all the pressure that builds up in a house where the parents are deeply unhappy at some level but still trying their best. I took it as a reminder to not force myself on my own children, and I'm sure other people will take other lessons.
Amazingly, the book manages to avoid being too bleak in the end. Though I was prepared for an utterly soul-crushing ending, I got a moment of grace instead. And hope for the future, that this damage isn't entirely irreparable. This was a fairly quick read, but it was very layered. I can see myself returning to it, especially when I actually become a parent. Assuming the whole death-of-a-child premise doesn't become too much to bear.
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